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Card 724 of 9752026-09-18 issue

Observed arrival · 2026-09-18

The Rizzmasillion: Tolkien’s Worst Decisions, Explained

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Editorial interest 89/100 Selection signal · not a rating of the site

An original comedic retelling of The Silmarillion, arranged as 25 chapters with brainrot aliases, explanatory reveals, a cast roster, and an interactive sound machine.

Landing page captured for the 2026-09-18 issue.
For
Readers curious about The Silmarillion without a glossary
Worth noticing
Twenty-five chapters use joke names before a roster maps them back to Tolkien’s cast.

Field notes

The project organizes its retelling into 25 linked chapters, with names such as “Finn” and “Sigmauron” serving as comic stand-ins before the roster identifies their Tolkien counterparts. Its interface asks readers to infer context inside the chapters rather than opening with a glossary, then supplies the cast list afterward. A separate chapter-one machine lets visitors set the relative amount of harmony and discord, although the extracted page does not show its resulting behavior.

Observed signals

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Editorial observations of this landing page, not a rating.

OpenPublic substance visible
PrettyNotable craft visible
ProPolished or operationally mature
NicheUnusually specific use

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Landing page observed 2026-09-18. The live site may have changed.