Observed arrival · 2026-09-19

Take Your Punk Ass to Dallas

takeyourpunkasstodallas.com Visit website

Editorial interest 86/100 Selection signal · not a rating of the site

A Washington-area football satire site that puts Dallas fans through relocation assessments, notices, excuse generators, and a geography lesson.

Landing page captured for the 2026-09-19 issue.

For: Washington-area football fans arguing with Dallas supporters
Worth noticing: The site assigns relocation case numbers and turns recurring fan excuses into generated mock paperwork.

Field notes

The project frames regional sports rivalry as a fictional administrative process, using case files, relocation notices, offense categories, and a DMV-style review board. Its assessment asks about location and familiar Dallas-fan claims, while the notice form adds a name and current location before displaying a mock case record. A separate section maps Washington, D.C. against Dallas, Texas, reinforcing the site’s central geographic joke.

Observed signals

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Editorial observations of this landing page, not a rating.

○OpenPublic substance visible

✦PrettyNotable craft visible

●ProPolished or operationally mature

◎NicheUnusually specific use

◉HumanPersonal, local, civic, or handmade

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Filed Under: Missing Tooth

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