Observed arrival · 2026-10-17
KOINO Energy’s 400,000 volts of retro-web nonsense
A Dutch parody energy-company homepage packed with fake utilities, office chaos, and unapologetic 1990s web styling.
○Open
⊠Login
$Paid
†Ads
✦Pretty
●Pro
◎Niche
◉Human
⚑Risk
ƒJS
- For
- Readers of retro-web parody and Dutch internet humor
- Worth noticing
- The fake speed test uses “a stopwatch and a feeling”; the page also labels its KOINO stock quotes 100% fictional.
Field notes
The page stages a deliberately obsolete web environment, with Netscape-era compatibility advice, an 800×600 recommendation, and a visitor counter. Its sections range from a DOS-style terminal to a banana power station, while the speed test explicitly relies on a stopwatch and intuition rather than a stated technical measurement.
Observed signals
Read the marks
Editorial observations of this landing page, not a rating.
○OpenPublic substance visible
✦PrettyNotable craft visible
●ProPolished or operationally mature
◎NicheUnusually specific use
One card from the complete issue